I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
