Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
