Dual....:-)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
