Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
