mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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