it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
