Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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