I cannot find my penis.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
