idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize