I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
