I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We're too hungover to prance.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize