I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
