dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
