I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
