why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
