I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
