There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
