you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
