Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
