he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
