Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
