Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
