I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize