The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
