oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize