You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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