Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
