think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize