I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
