it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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