that's an acceptable place to lick
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
