I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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