Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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