There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize