If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
