I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
