just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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