Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
