We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
