a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The Olympian is in my bed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
