Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This couple is walking their pig around campus
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
