The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Your cock deserves a montage
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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