You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
