Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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