Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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