I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
