I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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