When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
