The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
