are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
