He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
