My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
