I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
