She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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