her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
