I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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