I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
