I'm drive I can fine osifer
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
