i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
