you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
