Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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