Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
