he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
