He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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