All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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